My brain says no but my pants say off.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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