doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize