She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
