The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
