i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
