He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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