She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
