For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
