I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
