Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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