Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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