Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
