Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
high people should be assigned attendants
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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