hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So much rum. So many feels.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
