Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
