Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
