420 ftw
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
