I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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