I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
