Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
