ugly people sure do ruin things
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
