Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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