You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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