Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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