I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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