Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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