we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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