you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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