When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize