i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
