i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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