Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
