Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
