Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I touched a dick in church today
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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