the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
