So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
