if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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