SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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