ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
