Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
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BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
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Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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