yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
