Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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