Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
