This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
