Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Too much gin, very little bucket
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
