I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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