what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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