It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
