I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
