just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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