I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
