They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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