My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
