well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
