Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
