she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
