When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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