I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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