she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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