Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
