We're facebook friends in real life
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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