y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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