Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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