Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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