You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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