Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
What a dumb baby whore.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
