so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
