How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
