Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
