My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize