yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
