I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
