I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
