She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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